When in Doubt

Wow, I don't even know if I should be writing on my xanga right now because I am so down in the pervebial dumps as it were. Tonight I got an email from a dear cuz, Fern, the first personal little note that I have gotten from a long time from anyone at home(Please don't anyone take that wrong, I know how busy life can be back east) Thanks Fern, you don't know how much that meant to me. I just sat and bawled my eyes out the entire time I read it. God knew I needed that tonight.

You ever have a wrestling match with God, it doesn't work you know He always wins You ever wonder why, why, why, why,....and when and how and where? You ever wonder if God just gives you a little more than you can handle? Do you ever think that maybe if I just had more faith if I was just a better person, I wouldn't have to go through all this? Do you ever wish you were more stronger, more disciplined, more loving, more kind, more forgiving, more content, more joyful, more unselfish, more.....well you get the point...

Do you ever doubt? I do. My only comfort is that even those mentioned in Hebrews 11 as men and women of faith had their doubting moments. I mean Sarah laughed, Abraham lied,Jacob deceived,Moses said, "I can't", Gideon had to have proof, twice, Barak well it took a talking donkey for him,Jephthah made a foolish vow,etc, etc, My point is it's nice to know that even these great men and women of faith, mentioned in the Bible as the faithful. Even they had to struggle to get there. They pressed on through the struggle and God rewarded their faith. I guess in some ways if we had no reson to doubt then we would not need faith.

The next chapter in Hebrews Chapter 12:1-3 pretty much sums up what faith is all about."Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that edured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." Wow, what a comforting amazing verse! With all that in mind I press on in Jesus Name, but please pray for me for all of us, for Gary, Esther, and the rest of us as a family that the Lord would sustain us, comfort us, and keep us through anything that we face, and pray for me, and I think you know how, I need the prayers of those I love.

Press On

When the valley is deep,

When the mountain is steep,

When the body is weary,

When we stumble and fall,

When the choices are hard,

When we're battered and scared,

When we've spent our resources

When we've given our all,

In Jesus name we press on.

In Jesus name we press on.

Dear Lord, with the prize,

Clear before our eyes.

We find the strength

To press on.